Ramble On…

Hello again!  Or perhaps, hello for the first time.

First off, I’d like to say thank you to everyone who stopped by to read my blog.  I got over ninety views in the first two days, making it my most successful blog ever1.  As an added bonus, it made my wife pretty jealous because she has a blog of her own and rarely gets such high traffic.  So, as a favor to me, you should go check out her website (after you finish reading this post and then tell two friends to read it).  She’s an amazing photographer.

Now that I’ve boosted my ego and given my wife’s site a shameless plug, on to the new post.

A lot of the blogs out in cyberspace are filled with the ramblings of people sitting around and complaining about things they don’t like or things they think are stupid or things they think should change.  It’s kind of ridiculous.  I don’t want to take time out my day to read about someone going on and on and on and on about something they don’t like.  The people who write these types of blogs just sound like they’re whining, you know?  Personally, I just can’t stand blogs that do this.  I think they’re stupid.  And I think we should figure out a way to change it.

Since we’re on the subject of things I don’t like, probably my least favorite thing about being in a car, besides passing a speed limit sign I’m not exceeding by at least seven miles per hour2, is sitting still at a green light.  Look, if you are stopped at red light, you only have one responsibility.  Hit the gas as soon as that light turns green.  Sitting there isn’t the time to be introspective about your life.  It isn’t the time to text your friends.  It’s a time to sit and stare intently at that light.  Focus all of your energy, as if the harder you stare, the quicker it’ll change.  Some of you out there might be thinking, “But Josh, ‘a watched pot never boils.’”  To which I respond, that’s just silly.  Of course it does.  I have neither read nor seen any empirical evidence to suggest that an observed pot of water boils any slower than one left unattended.  In fact, who in their right mind wouldn’t watch a pot of water they hope to boil?  That just seems like an accident waiting to happen.  It’s a stupid saying.

Although, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” is much worse.  I get what it’s trying imply.  You can’t have it both ways, but this is just an asinine example.  Some sayings I can get behind because I can imagine a realistic, real-world experience in which the phrase came about.

For example, one day, an industrious, forward-thinking man3 thought ‘Maybe a horse could push a cart even better than it could pull one.’  So, he put his cart in front and tied his horse to the back of it.  Unfortunately, the man riding in the cart now had no control over where the horse went, and that horse pushed the cart right into the river.  And the man drowned.  Luckily, someone watching the whole thing from the river bank took the time to write down, ‘Never put your cart before your horse.’

Another example, one day, a care-free little girl took two baskets to the henhouse in order to collect eggs for her family.  “Wait a minute,” she thought, “if I put all the eggs in one basket, I can use the other one to carry home flowers that I pick.”  On her way back home, with one basket filled with eggs and one filled with picked flowers, out of nowhere, a cart being pushed by a horse ran her off the road, and the basket filled with eggs was destroyed.  When all she brought back was a basket of picked flowers, her family forced her from then on to where a scarlet ‘E’ on her chest as a constant reminder to “not put all her eggs in one basket.”

These are logical stories that might have inspired these popular sayings.  But what kind of a story could have inspired “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”?

It’s a young boy’s birthday.  The father says, “Okay, blow out the candles son…Wait, what are you doing?  You have a cake, but you can’t eat any.  Honey, did you hear that?  Billy wants to eat his birthday cake.  No, Billy, this is a rental.  It has to be back at the bakery in an hour.  We could have made you a cake ourselves if your sister hadn’t broken all the eggs.  But don’t worry, we’ll take some pictures, so you will never forget this beautiful cake that you couldn’t eat.”  After his party, he ran up to his room and through tear soaked eyes wrote in his journal, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.”  And little Billy never did forget that cake.  He grew up to be a baker.  The end.

I guess this post kind of got away from me.  I have no idea where I was going with any of this, and it’s too long for me to go back and try to figure it out.  I hope you have a great day.

  1. Do you get the joke?  Cause, it’s my only blog ever.  Although, by that rationale, I suppose that also makes it my least successful blog ever.  Hm.  Now, I’m sad.
  2. Got this from my mom.  I also inherited many good qualities from her, not just my need for speed.  Hi mom!
  3. Or woman…I’m not sexist.

Well, thanks for reading.  If you have any positive comments, as always, please leave them in the section below.  If you have any negative comments, feel free to email me at  like_you_could_do_better@gmail.com.  I haven’t added any pictures yet.  So, it’s still boring looking.

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7 Comments on “Ramble On…”

  1. Laci Says:

    I am loving reading your blog. It is refreshing to know that some great people are still great. 🙂

  2. Mark Says:

    You know what saying I don’t get? “A penny saved is a penny earned.” I mean, I understand that it’s good to save money rather than spend impulsively, but whether you save OR spend a penny, hasn’t it already been earned by you anyway?

    Unless the saying goes “a Penny saved is a penny earned,” wherein somebody saves a gal named Penny and she gives him a penny both to be cute about it and because she is cheap. Thus that somebody both saved and earned a Penny/penny that day…

  3. womanhater7 Says:

    this is a pretty funny blog. the tie-ins still have me smiling after laughing out loud when i read it. and it takes a bit to make me laugh. i am disappointed you did not mention your father in this blog. or perhaps you meant him to be the man with the cart and the horse.

  4. Mom Says:

    Josh, thanks for crediting me with the speed thing. I love reading your thoughts. Keep them coming! It is awesome to see you writing. Love MOM

  5. Meredith Says:

    Im surprised you didnt start a blog earlier! Its very entertaining and makes me feel like Im listening to you ramble in person 🙂 Keep ’em coming, they are great to read during work when I need a pick me up! Oh and Julies pictures are amazing… if you guys didnt live so far away I would totally hire her for a family session! Shes very talented, you are a lucky guy.

  6. womanhater7 Says:

    Four days without a blog – that is too long.

  7. womanhater7 Says:

    more blogging please


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